Saturday, September 02, 2006

Two Truths and a Lie

You all have Michelle from Green Kitchen to thank for this.. (The following verbal debauchery, that is.....)
She challenged me after seeing this on fricknits blog..
A fun little diversion.. and dangerous..

And I have her to thank for saving my blog from looking scary and a bit on the "plain jane because, I am techno challenged" side..
So, thanks for making my blog pretty, Michelle..

Now I will attempt to turn it into a house of lies..

Here is a shadow box I am calling Masquerade (inspired by all Ulla's Theatres, all Tartx's thrilling illio's, and Angela's collage-paintings. I include it because the dear lady inside obviously has something to hide.. Like myself?


Now..you have to guess..which two are truths and which is the lie.


1) When I was 18, I spent a short time living in a commune at a natural hot springs. The hot springs also was run as a resort and a massage school..all clothing optional. ("I see naked people.")
My "job", along with other young female members of the commune, was to help clean the resort guest rooms, so I spent a couple months as a Topless Motel Maid (in an extremely "is this granola vegan?" kind of a way).
While I was there, my closest friend was a middle aged lady, who I now believe was going through menopause. We bonded by secretly making chocolate chip cookies together, with (gasp) white flour and real butter. Her name was Topaz.
Eventually, I regained my senses and went back to college.

2) While I lived in San Francisco, I occasionally wrote lyrics for a rockabilly/punk band that was named "Buck Naked and the Barebottom Boys." They performed wearing nothing but stategically placed toilet plungers and/or stuffed animals.. and, of course, sunglasses and cowboy hats. "Teenage Mutant From Outer Space" was a real crowd pleaser. I was a deeply affected fan and sent in a couple poems which he made into the long lost, 'never even a B side' anthems: " Sargent Pooper and the Lonely Farts Club, Banned" and "She liked to Scream, It's PG 13".

Buck's career and life were tragically cut short because someone got mad that his dog chased some pigeons and they reacted violently.. It still breaks my heart.

3) My first craft barter was negotiated at needle point..
I painted a mildly risque picture on the back of my friend Trish's jacket (a highly stylized portrait of her girlfriend) in exchange for her paying for my navel piercing; which I had done spontaneously to surprise my nice, suburban, Jewish boyfriend. (Please keep in mind, that this was a Long. Time. Ago. when a navel piercing was still, at least a touch, on the wicked side.) I was pierced, as a group activity, in front of all my alternative lifestyle buddies from the Castro District, right after brunch. I kept the piercing secret from my mom until my soon to be sister-in-law, outed me at my rehearsal dinner,
thusly:
Almost Sister-in-Law (from way across the table at lovely Italian Restaurant): "You have your Belly Button Pierced, don't you Beth?"

My Mom: "You have your what?"

Future Mom-and-Dad-in-Law: " You have your what??? What?"

Bride-to-Be laughs nervously: "Um, yeah.." as all heads turn....

As far as participating: I won't tag anyone but... I will be checking to see who has the guts to take the plunge. So in a very passive/aggressive way.. I Tag You All.

Tell me if you do it.. I want to guess!!

15 comments:

futuregirl said...

I think 1 and 3 are true, and 2 is the lie. I can't wait to find out!

capello said...

I'm guessing number two isn't the truth.

And I don't know if I can come up with such interesting stories about myself. Hmmm...

risa said...

me too. i think 2 is the lie. and yes, let´s swap! email me at muerto_de AT yahoo DOT com. yay!

PamKittyMorning said...

Wild, I can't even imagine the lie.. I mean maybe it's the belly button piercing!

Anyway, love the new look! And I'll look forward to hearing what was the lie?

dbande7th@hotmail.com said...

I know such a place as #1 exists in No.CA and starts with an "H".

I'm saying #1 and #3 are true.

BTW, love your blog, found you through Ulla.

Darla

aiar said...

I want them all to be true! But if I have to pick one, #2 is also my guess. I'll have to really think about my vanilla past to find a few "scandalous" truths :D

Your Mona Lisa is a very cheeky girl.

aiar said...

p.s. Also think your new design is great. Love the logo!

stephanie s said...

i am guessing one and three as true, two as almost true... i think you sent the songs to the barebottom boys but they didn't see the future like you did... secrety hoping all are true though. love the new look - will let you know when i post my lies... and a truth or two.

Angelina said...

I don't know about the truth or lies thing, but I love the new look of your blog! (Even though I can't begin to guess at the truth, I enjoyed reading those stories anyway and it will certainly be revealing to find out which one is a lie.)

JulieFrick said...

I know that BNATBBB existed, and according to my sources, the pigeon thing is true (though so strange that I fear it may be an urban myth)....but I'm gonna guess you didn't write lyrics for them. Not because you couldn't. You're clearly clever enough to make innuendo both fun and punk!

*Kristal* said...

Oh what fun! I'll go with number uno y dos are the truth. But it doesn't really matter. Just reading them all was the fun part! Can we have another chapter next week? Thanks for the LOL!!

Angelina said...

I don't know about the truth vs. lies, though I'm very interested to find out! I just want to say that I LOVE your new blog design!

Stacie said...

no way, 2 has to be true, and I am hoping there is a "naked" thing, and 1 is also true...

Anonymous said...

I've got Buck's CD, so I'm banking on 2 being a truth. I'm thinking 1 is the stretch here.

Anastasia said...

I know you did this a looong time ago, but I did it on my blog and linked back to yours, just letting you know I was adevrtising you! ;)

Here it is http://sweetbutterbliss.blogspot.com/2010/01/lies-lies-lies.html

Have a great week.

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