Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Wanted: New BFF... Must have Mad Skills and be Incredibly Good Looking

Hey Ya'll..

Been In Absentia a bit lately. Just feeling cruddy, you know? Little PMS, mixed with mild virus, mixed with the rain starting up again. Meanwhile, my favorite Kitty smashed one of my favorite things I ever made, my son bailed on trying to do well in school, his teacher called him a rat in front of the class... and my latest New Vintage dress is like an albatross around my neck.
Actually I blame it on the exercise. I have been walking an hour a day and exercise always makes me feel horrible. All sweaty and tired. eew. But I am vain so I will don my raincoat and do it again today.



It might be partially that I need to find a new BFF since Michelle is going to throw me over like yesterdays news for Heather Ross. If you want a new BFF yourself, I'm currently taking applications. If you are a celebrity, semi celebrity or craft star, you will be even more seriously considered.. especially if you are Matt from Etsy, Bre Pettis, Johnny Depp, or any form of non-hair-band rockstar, (Beck Hansen, this is your big opportunity, my man. Robot needle case? I Will Send You One). Also Inside a Black Apple and Heather Bailey might have a slight advantage as those people could definitely help me get a seat at the cool kids table... Maybe not BFF but I could may be see my way clear to BFFN ( best friends for now). Frankly, my life is not full of celebrities, like some people's, so if you act now you can easily get a real prime spot.

What can I offer you? I make a wicked Margarita... and you can play with my doll and my kitten. My craft cave is chock full of goodies to share and my glue gun is always hot. And if Johnny Depp actually calls, I will totally let you listen in on the extension... as long as he can't hear you giggling.

Oh.. and Michelle.. I am So Not Insecure. So, there.

**edit: " ;) "

20 comments:

stephanie s said...

thank god i can nominate myself - i can nominate myself, can't i???

i love margarita's - seriously, should there really be any other criteria? hell, after a few of those i might even let you call me michelle.

as for celebrity status, i got none, but muhammad ali once hitched his pants and winked at me (in once deft motion) while i was walking through the seattle airport, so i got that to recommend me as well.

will gladly send more qualifications should you feel it necessary. and, my butt is bigger than yours so that is a plus for you too.

yfbff,
steph

ambika said...

This had me grinning at work. I don't know any craft stars who might suit but I did see Alicia Paulson on the street once when I was in Portland for the weekend. I was *way* too shy to say 'hi.' Next time, I'll work up the courage and see if she's got any BFF openings :D

Maddie, of course! said...

Dang girl,

I totally get were you are coming from and I suspect the best I have to offer is a funny to make you smile.

So.. the other morning, I wake up to feel a lump under my breast(DD cup here.. so there is an under!)..as I am laying there in bed. I feel it and totaly freak out trying to roll over and get my hand hunder my pj top to see why the heck I have grown a 3rd boob!.. fears of cancer swirl through my head and I seem to be getting more and more tangled up up in the covers as my panic mounts.. then I hear it.. my breast is jingling!.. it's muffled but very much there and now in my half sleep I am TOTALLY freaked out and clawing at the covers and my top.. I finally sit up in bed and .. PLOP.. out from my PJ top drops a small pink mouse cat-toy! ( a very cute Bitter Betty cat toy at that!).. so it seems that one can be mistaken about early morning cancer and in fact only have a cat toy wedged under their boob!

So there!
Hope you feel better real soon!

Maddie
www.domesticanarchy.blogspot.com

amy said...

i am pretty sure that i am no where near cool enough to even be your friend, much less your BFF. but, if you feel like taking on a charity case...i'm your gal. i did see tim robbins three times in one day. oh and woody allen. and i have been on a flight with phylicia rashad of cosby fame. ok. i am still lame. oh, well...

Sonya said...

It would all end in tears, ah well. Sorry to hear about the loutish display of teenager. No fun, I know. And "Bad Kitty!" And Bethany, Michelle is still your BFF, you know she is, even though Heather Ross is so shiny.

PamKittyMorning said...

I had dinner with Heather Baily (and some other people, less than 15) if that would jump me up a notch or too. Anna Marie Horner was there as well there was only one person between her and I.

I know though, no way am I cool enough for you!!!

Wende said...

Oh, jeeze... I'm SO not going to walk through the VERY open door here. (Let's just say it was a comment about Me and Jesus being best friends, would a deity do?).

It doesn't count if it's in parenthesis... does it?

MOONSTITCHES said...

Oh, such a bummer, I am so sorry for you.
Would like to fill in but I am afraid you are way too hilarious for me. And I just spoke to somebody about me being the epitome of uncool. But good luck for finding a new best friend. Oh, it would be so cool that Hansen guy ordered his robot needle case... Apropos, exellent way to spend your time!

Bitterbetty said...

Wende.. I did consider Jesus.. But he wasn't too sure about day drinking margaritas with me, so... I'm checking on Buddah (assuming Johnny Depp doesn't leave a comment....)

dorie said...

Oh, I'm always trying to tell people that Ray Camden, the creator of the blogging app I use is my BFF. But he's not. He's a rock star in that world.

I am really sorry about the doll. You should know that I think of her every once in a while. She's one of the coolest things I've seen somebody make.

Thanks for making me smile.

Dorie

Green Kitchen said...

Would you take me back if I said that I looked like Johnny Depp back in my thinner years when I sometimes went around in drag with a wispy mustache?

futuregirl said...

Goodness me! I'm weighing in late here and I'm at the end of a very awesome list and one plaintive plea for a return to BBF-itude.

Personally, I'd either take back Michelle or give Stephanie S the slot. I *heart* them both so much. But if you feel like being the "thinner, cooler, prettier, and more talented" of the pair, you could pick me.

I promise to tell you how much you rock every day. And I'm pretty sure I'll never meet anyone remotely famous, because I'm such a recluse. How's that sound?

Wende said...

Oh hey, the Buddha is fine with me... but if my experience in Seminary is any indication Jesus is AOK with hard alcohol. Heh. And he's always nice to have around if you run out of wine.

Ok, it's official. I'm so doing time in purgatory. And I'm not even Catholic. OY.

Mary-Laure said...

I love the picture of those bad girls drinking champagne in their stockings and slips...

I'd apply for the BFF position but I see craftiness is required and you have no idea how notcrafty I am, much to my chagrin, really. My mum calls me butterhands for a reason...

catslye said...

My credentials are admitedly weak, but such as they are...

I make a mean Cuba Libre.
I have hellish PMS, we can piss and moan about it together.
I think you're fantastically creative and have much to teach us all.
I have no claims to fame, though I might this summer as The Beautiful Mr. Depp might be filming a movie in my hometown of Oshkosh, Wisconsin this summer and my sister wants me to come home for it so we can ogle him, (catch all those "mights") if I were your BFF I'd take you with me.
:)

Anonymous said...

Do I qualify? I have a store full of goodies and I love trading! I have met Charles Schultz (who was really tall and reminded me of my grandpa Herman) and I interrupted the Doobie Brothers (whole gang) while they were having dinner after a show, OOHHH, I got a kiss on the cheek from Chris Issak and Aaron Neville
winked at me and moved his massive arm in "hey" motion. I have a laundry list of celebrity interactions, and even though I'm not famous, I know a lot of people and I think that most of them like me. (And I have spent some time with Heather Ross.)
~Amber (can't remamber my password to use my blogger name)

sulu-design said...

I love the raging bitterness in this post! I'd jump to apply for the BFF position, but with the amount of acidic bitterness that I have within (that I don't really let slip out into my posts, so you may not know it's there), we might end up melting people within a 50 mile radius.
Enjoy that nasty walk, lady!

Marmadaisy said...

I never got to hang out with the cool kids at school, don't see why it's any different now.

Angelina said...

I can't believe I missed the Bitter Betty BFF try-outs!!! This is the opportunity I have been waiting for!

I have no celebrity but I'm pretty sure I will eventually land myself some notoriety.

I have never been able to decide whether I'm more envious of Michelle for getting to be best friends with you or with you for getting to be best friends with Michelle.

How about this: if you let me be your BFF I will make a cape for Mrs. Homemaker.

I adore you lady!!!

lynnie said...

I just wanted to say I think it was crappy of your son's teacher to call him a rat in front of his class. To call him a rat at all.

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