Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Work In Progress Wednesday: Only Enough Ambition to Annoy Myself

First a quick but heartfelt Thanks to comments on the Red Ridinghood cloak and also on the Alice post. I had so much fun doing them. I am really looking forward to doing more if those kinds of posts.
They are the best kind of challenge. Multi-level creative using varied craft spazz style skill sets...Yeah!

So her are a couple of bits of a couple of bits I am working on lately.
 Needle felted lambypie goodness and a grown up garment with needle felt applique.


But like usual (for everyone, I'm sure) This isn't ALL I 'm working on.


For Instance:
I'm doing my spring body clean up.
Shedding the solid mass of delicious indulgences that stretched from Early October until Mid January, and generally cleaning up the mess that it made of my mid section.

My big kitty, Harold, has kidney issues and that brings vet trips, weird feeding and containment tribulations, gross stuff to clean up and all that. As of now, he is on the mend but sadly will continue to be delicate for the rest of his life. Poor Harold.

Home junk: Taking down the temporary winter greenhouse we use for out tender succulents, garden and household "big chores" (like a complete fridge and freezer scrub down and inventory control, taking apart garden beds and the like).

And preparing for the GOOD STUFF... our first big (distant and semi-exotic)  family vacation in 3 or 4 years. While the trip will be great, keeping the pets and plants alive will require staff of some sort and that's a challenge. Then there's the planning reserving and packing stuff. Cleaning the house for a house sitter...
detail details details.

It's times like these that make getting to the creative stuff harder for me. It starts to feel simultaneously urgent and like it's just another mess to clean up, and then blogging? that is like the final step that just doesn't get taken. And then I feel bad. Like I could be successful if I would just make it a priority. And then I wonder "Successful, how? What does that Even Mean in Blogging?" I'm not writing the book proposal that I think about from time to time. At least that would succeed or fail. I don't advertise here, so I don't have to keep my stats up or lose revenue. There never has been revenue,  because I don't  make the time to investigate whether or not I even want to have advertisers. I haven't even made the formatting changes that I am dying to make for my own ideal vision of this space because I'm too intimidated and distracted to sit down and do the research, put it together and test it.  It makes my shoulders seize up and my mouth get all flat just considering it. Why? Because it's not my thing. I don't know the first thing about it and it is one of the few things that can bore and confuse me at the same time.

I seem to have only enough ambition to annoy myself.

I'm allowing myself to write down this rationalization/pity party by telling myself that I'm reaching out to other bloggers who might be feeling the same way, so if you are please, do share a comment and validate me in my favorite way,

with a comment on the old blog.


But, Please don't stop reading. I swear, I won't whine for at least 6 more posts. Just Craft-No Complaining.

And another new garment waits in the wings...

14 comments:

Tami @ Lemon Tree Tales said...

OH yes, I do know what you mean about the blog. There are so many cool ways to change the look but am I ambitious enough to do them? I've had my test blog with a potential new look set up for over 6 months now but I'm still not happy enough with it to make the change. :-)

I say to just keep on posting whenever you're in the mood. I love seeing the retro/vintage garments you make and that vintage sewing comic was outstanding. All fun stuff.

Enjoy your vacation! Cheers from Sunnyvale - thank goodness for nice weather today!

Daphne said...

Mmm-hm. Ambition, scmambition. With you on the whole thing. I hope it won't let it get you down and that you'll sprinkle in the "just posting" posts with the cool storytelling posts. I'll read both.

Shelley Noble said...

"...one of the few things that can bore and confuse me at the same time...

I seem to have only enough ambition to annoy myself."

World class funny.

ittybittyandpretty said...

i love popping in every now and again and catching up on all of your adventures...that raed riding cape is simply stunning.
have a fun holiday.
xxrosey

Sonya said...

What does success really mean, in blogland or otherwise? Is it accolades or recognition? Book deals or fabric lines? Solo shows, paid vacations or free stuff that you have to disclose to your blogging audience? These are things that some people have achieved. I don't know if it's what I want. I guess I'd still be blogging hard if I did. For whatever strange quixotic reason, I've been thinking I want to be like Tom Waits. (or Kiki Smith to use a female and art-related example). Mixed-commercial success, I'll take it. Not everyone's cup of tea, challenging to some, luminary to others? Yes please? Let's forge our own roads Bethany. (And by the way, you have created a lamb of Steiff caliber. Glass eyes? I am uber-impressed.) Smooches xoxo

Barbara at Oodles and Oodles said...

Agreeing with everything in the previous comment. Is updating my blog the high-tech, 2010-version of saying I have to have lunch with my girlfriends? Is there a reason to do this, or is just expressing myself reason enough? I sometimes think I'm semi-serious about a hundred things and not serious enough about any of them. I think you have a lot of company in these thoughts, from anything I can tell.

Meghan said...

success -- does your blog make you happy? serve as a catharsis for your (very very valid) feelings? encourage you to finish a long-languishing project you love but have neglected? that's success enough, i think.

plus, it makes me happy to see you've posted anything, and i love the line about only having enough ambition to annoy yourself -- i'm not alone! i was just pondering my looooong list of works in progress today (craft and otherwise) and wondering if i'd ever get them all done.

ps enjoy your holiday to the fullest.

KTism said...

I just recently started following your blog and have enjoyed seeing your beautiful creative endeavors! Thanks so much for sharing them even if its on a blog that does not meet your high expectations! I am inspired buy the new vintage wardrobe project as I have been planning on finally making something out of all the vintage patterns I have!
I completely understand your frustration...there are just so many things I want to do but everything from procrastination to distraction to just life gets in the way! Struggle on!

Melissa Haworth said...

Right there with you! I "think" I've finally decided that my blog is really just for me and doesn't need to be "successful." It inspires me to get things done and I document whatever I want. Readers and comments are just gravy.

As for stuff like the book proposal. Yeah... I have similar big plans but if I actually DO them I will succeed or fail so I get caught in the "thinking about doing them" trap where I can always think I succeed but it's a lot less satisfying. Love your blog as always.

Kristin L said...

Oh I'll definitely validate your feelings. I could have written that whole paragraph about all the things I should be doing to be more successful and have the same questions about the meaning of success. The one difference though, is that I would never have explained my situation with anything half as clever as "only enough ambition to annoy myself." Until you define your blog as a revenue venture, I think you are absolutely justified in exploiting it only as far as your energies allow and if that means ignoring it for more important things, so be it. :-)

dorie said...

Dear Bethany,
I love reading your blog and checking out the clever things you make. You've been the source of a high percentage of my blog reading guffaws. (That the other high percentage comes from lolcats, well, I don't know what that says about me.)

I love Sonja's response to this post. Every so often we ask ourselves, What's the point? The answer depends highly on the person. But if you're looking for a little community and some folks to feel awesome about your creations, I hope you keep on.

Dorie

Blaize said...

A. Sorry about your kitty. I'm glad he's okay, though delicate.
B. Congratulations on the trip, and
C. Do you already have a housesitter? Because I know some reliable folks....

Heidi Ann said...

You do create wonderful things, Betty, and I enjoy seeing them. And I enjoy reading your blog when it's about something else, too. My biggest problem is lack of ambition, I guess. Because I get so inspired by so many of the other blogs I read, and I have ideas and things I want to do or make. And yet, somehow, I don't seem to get them done. I suppose when I think about it, I don't really consider myself a successful blogger, even if it's only because we don't have very many followers. Not even sure what followers do, exactly - I only know that we post every single day and I don't think many people are out there reading them! Few people leave comments, anyway. I still do it because I like it, and I enjoy putting little "pieces of me" out there into the blogosphere, to be read...or not.
Sigh........

Sara said...

What I like about blogging is that I can share stuff I make with people who might appreciate that. I read on a blog one time "Who am I going to show this to? The neighbors don't care." And that has stuck with me. It would be nice to someday get an income for all the effort. But for now, the sharing and commenting (and comment receiving) is nice. Plus, I can put off doing the dishes just that much longer. I really enjoy your blog! I love the line about having "just enough ambition to annoy myself". I can relate! I just hope as my kids get older and more independent, I can see more projects to fruition.

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